And half an hour later a man arrived to make everything better.I felt for him. After a pandemic-prompted hiatus from reviewing cars, Jeremy Clarkson is back behind the wheel of something other than a tractor. But then I discovered I’d already reviewed the Vanquish Volante and had said much the same sort of thing. Can a classic Aston pique his interest? Product Review: The Vauxhall Astra Sports Tourer is the estate-car version of the Vauxhall Astra. I wanted to use a cocktail stick.However, the seventh attempt was at least successful. Launched in 2016, the Sports Tourer is a medium-sized family estate car whose main focus is spaciousness. The computer said it could perform the task only if I unlocked the screen. Vauxhall's Astra Sports Tourer seems to fit the bill very nicely in this regard, especially in this generation form with its very class-competitive space, decent media connectivity and sharp looks. I’m doing it,” I replied impatiently, before going back to the telephone issue.“Finally I can get on with my review of the Astra. So I took a guess at where on the screen the Answer button might be and took the call. Which I couldn’t do.That meant I had to find someone else with an iPhone 6 and copy his screen onto a piece of tracing paper, which I then laid over my own, dead screen. A few weeks ago, Jeremy Clarkson said he was happy with a Vauxhall Corsa during lockdown rather than something sportier. It was unprofessional, I know, but…While I was in the Aston I decided I’d write about that instead, about how useless its sat nav is and how you can get your right foot stuck under the brake pedal, which makes slowing down a bit tricky, and how the steering judders at low speeds and how annoying it was to have a convertible on a beautiful sunny day and not be able to take the roof down because I’m fat and 56 and I’d look stupid.I was going to put all this in my column. First of all, I can’t think of anything interesting to say about the Astra, and, second, I have spent the past two days with a mobile telephone that works perfectly, except the screen, which doesn’t work at all.I spent most of yesterday morning holding down various buttons for various periods of time until I realised that, of course, it’s electronic, which means its problems can be resolved by turning it off and then on again.But this made everything worse, because when an iPhone has been turned off, you can’t use a thumbprint to bring it to life: you must put in your passcode. It hadn’t. He's changed his tune. The computer hooked up with the phone, and I was about to press the Restore button when the friend whose iPhone I’d borrowed to use as a map said: “You know if you do that you’ll lose everything on your phone, don’t you?”Actually, I’d only lose everything since the last backup, which I noticed had been in February. To date, we’ve heard of relatively few problems on the Astra Sports Tourer, but it’s not known to be the most reliable car around. Same size as previous Astra Sport Tourer but with 80 litres more loadspace, up to date engines and latest in-car tech. Overall Auto Express Rating.

It was the editor. And now I’m out of space, which is probably a good thing, because I have nothing else to say about it, really. I really do have a twofold problem. So finally I could restore my phone to see if that would bring the screen back to life. 14. Sadly not, because the screen needs direct human contact. It actually rang. I was supposed to have taken it to the country at the weekend, but on Friday night Richard Hammond announced that he didn’t like the colour of the Aston Martin Vanquish Volante he was supposed to be driving and went home in his own car.I did like the colour — it was a sort of pearly metallic white — and I much preferred the idea of tooling around in a convertible Aston for the weekend to bumbling about in a mildly speedy Vauxhall. Vauxhall Astra GTC (2011 – 2016) At A Glance. Vauxhall Astra GTC (2011 – 2016) Review Vauxhall GTC 2015 1.4T 16V SRi 3dr £6,745. So I’d have to cobble together some thoughts on the Vauxhall. It has four wheels and seats, comes in red “Such as killing everyone at Apple with a shovel.”There was another problem I had with the Vauxhall. Which was hard because a) I didn’t have any and b) on my laptop screen iTunes had just flashed up a message saying it had suffered a “catastrophic” failure and was closing, which meant the sync with my phone wasn’t working.This happened six times. Vauxhall Astra Sports Tourer (2016) At A Glance. “Because there are more important things in life,” I seethed inwardly. I need a screensaver — and this ain’t it: Jeremy Clarkson was asked to review the 2016 Vauxhall Astra SRi, but with a broken smartphone he found it impossible. Nobody thinks: “Hmm. All it really needed was a more efficient range of engines, now delivered as … Because, as a mobile phone consultant, he never in his working life meets anyone who’s calm and rational. And on the seventh attempt at synching I decided I didn’t want to kill everyone at Apple with a shovel.

Which was hard because a) I didn’t have any and b) iTunes had just flashed up a message saying it had suffered a “catastrophic” failure”And all the while the incoming-email buzzer was sounding and I knew it’d be the editor, wondering why I hadn’t sent him news of the Vauxhall. When the iTunes program shut down for, I think, the 12th time, I swore constantly for 36 minutes and at such a volume that the walls of my office were bulging.Fearing I might be on the verge of a sizeable coronary — I’d love to know how many heart attacks have been caused by malfunctioning mobile phones — the office staff broke off from their important work to call for assistance.

I’d driven it only once, from Holland Park to Chiswick, in rush hour. So that’s the number of everyone I’ve met since then and all the pictures I took in India and Jordan and Namibia and the ones of my daughter doing her first triathlon.“I’d have to cobble together some thoughts on the Vauxhall.

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